As a kid, I was diagnosed with separation anxiety from my mom. It was a phase, I guess, something I eventually grew out of. Fast forward to adulthood, and here I am, a parent in the post-pandemic world, finding old fears resurfacing in new forms.

My journey into motherhood started in the summer of 2021, a time when the world was still grappling with the uncertainties of a global health crisis. I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, and from that moment, a bond was forged that felt unbreakable. She’s over two years old now, a bundle of energy and joy, but with her growth, I’ve noticed an unexpected guest making a reappearance in my life: separation anxiety.

The pandemic, with its enforced isolation and constant reminders of vulnerability, has left its mark on many of us. For me, it’s manifested in a fear that something terrible will happen to my daughter whenever she’s out of my sight. The thought of leaving her, even with my mom, felt overwhelming. It took me ages to gather the courage to do it for the first time, and every time since then hasn’t been much easier.

This isn’t the garden-variety nervousness that most new parents feel. It’s more intense, more consuming. The anxiety feels eerily similar to what I experienced as a child, only this time, I’m on the other side of the equation. It’s as if the pandemic has stirred up these long-dormant fears, repackaging my childhood separation anxiety into a parental version – maternal separation anxiety.

I often find myself wondering: is this normal? Is it just me being an overly protective parent, or has the pandemic rewired our instincts to an extreme? The world has changed, and perhaps, so have the rules of parenting.

The journey to understand and manage maternal separation anxiety is ongoing. Some days are better than others. I’m learning to trust, to let go, even if just a little. I’m also exploring ways to cope, to ensure that my anxiety doesn’t become a barrier in my child’s path to independence.

In sharing my story, I hope to connect with other parents who might be sailing in the same boat. It’s important to acknowledge that the pandemic has affected us in profound, often unexpected ways. And for some of us, it’s brought about a resurgence of childhood fears in our roles as parents.

As I navigate this new terrain, I realize that the journey of parenthood is not just about raising a child, but also about understanding and growing ourselves. It’s about facing old fears with new courage, and in doing so, providing our children with the space to flourish.